Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Week 6 Prompts: Place

26. You haven't been there since you were little. Now you go back....

Green almonds and black scorpions/retake
 Seven apartment buildings, lined lengthways, in an almost perfect line, my childhood world. Small apartments stuck one on top of the other with narrow stairs and stone handrails perfect for sliding. A narrow asphalt road connected all of them, in the front, and a dirt path with hovering dusty pines was the border in the back, between the buildings and the open fields.

It felt like a small world all to itself, like a safe isolated bubble. There were no cars at all inside the neighborhood, maybe because of the narrow road and the proximity of the buildings, but more likely because almost no one had private cars then, or TVs, or phones for that matter. My friends and I spent most of our free time outside and completely without adult supervision, we were free to come and go as we pleased. 

The world around the neighborhood was huge and exciting, full of delicious surprises it kept us busy. There was a sea of wild flowers in the winter; deep pink Cyclamens, blood red Anemones, shy pink Saffrons and wild Narcisus. There were pine cones to shake for pine nuts all the rest of the year, necklaces to be made from pine needles, big purple Passiflora flowers to reshape and create little stick people, fossils to bring home from our journeys on the many trails we were exploring. Later my younger brother upped the game, as he always did, when he discovered an untapped supply of black, deadly scorpions, under those same rocks and triumphantly brought them home in glass jars to every body’s dismay, but that’s his story not mine.  I was content with running up and down the staircases and in order to visit my friends who lived just one entrance away all I had to do was walk across the flat open roof.

Our apartment was on the fourth floor, just below the roof that housed the water tanks, one for each apartment, they hosted endless wonders.  I loved peeking into them marveling at the colors of the rust and the different forms of life growing in them. From the roof I could see big part of the town and on the end of Memorial Day I used to run up to watch the blue projected lights that were part of the closing ceremony in the nearby military cemetery. Two long blue lines moved slowly scanning the night skies from side to side, just a minute before the fireworks, marking the beginning of the Independence Day celebrations, exploded.

In front of our building there was a raw of almond trees, cut later to make room for another building.  In the spring after their spectacular white bloom we spent hours climbing on them picking green almonds and eating till we got sick. The outside shell was soft and slightly bitter and the inside not yet solidified was pure clear liquid that tasted heavenly. One year my father brought home a small tree and we planted it in the back of the building. I couldn’t contain the joy of having my own private almond tree.

With the years the small circle of buildings that contained my world, grew and opened to include new adventures further away. There were frequent visits to the nearby military cemetery where we collected tadpoles from small pools, voyages to find mulberry trees to supply leaves for my silk warms and weekend’s walks across the fields to visit friends in other neighborhoods .We felt courageous and daring as any world traveler on his way to discover new worlds. We also discovered how small the neighborhood really was and how venturing out into the world can be at the same time an enriching experience as well as a decreasing one.

3 comments:

  1. I think this is a good rewrite, tightening up the whole thing and sharpening the focus. At the same time, I know the writer always mourns the lost words from the earlier versions, always feels a certain amount of remorse at the bits that have disappeared. But you have to be firm with yourself!

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  2. It’s seems to be a continuous issue with the stuff I write (so it seems) not so much the need to cut and focus (which happened here) but the need to end with a way that will satisfy (my need) for some sort of closure/explanation/summery.
    Cutting that last, perhaps unneeded ending makes me feel as if the written piece is going to fall of the face of the earth with no apparent means to haul it out. It is not so much the difficulty to depart with my words as a constant feeling that it is actually needed there.

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  3. Partly it's a matter of taste. My literary instincts tell me that exposition is no friend of nuance or of focused effect. But I like very much your description of how it feels to you when you follow my prescriptions!

    Wait til we get to vignettes in a week or two--those almost invariably are meant to be left floating and hanging.... I'll be advising people to cut out their openings and closes!

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