41. You never know what you have until it's gone.

Biur Chametz (Removal of chametz)

In the morning, getting dressed, I look at my closet, push back in few shirts, pull out others, turn them from side to side and shake them, they look worn but I can’t remember when the last time I wore them was. I am sure that at the time I invested a lot of thought in picking each one of them so I push them back in. I will need to make the painful decision one of these days but not today.

 The book shelves on the other side of the room are overflowing with books; I keep them for these desperate times when’ I will have nothing to read’. Paperback novels recommended to me, authors I used to like, just random books I picked in garage sales for pennies. Self –help books I purchased at this time or another, on a whim, none of them touched in the past years.

 On the desk a mounting pile of letters I need to answer. Brochures I couldn’t bring myself to throw as the information regarding motel amenities, furniture, novelties and gifts might come handy one day.

 On the couch a stack of folders representing the second step of my elaborate filling system, here it is in a nutshell. When the pile of loose paper (letters, bills, brochures) becomes too high to manage and keep sliding to the floor, it is time to push everything into a folder. This is a cleansing act in and of itself. The folder is then being laid on the couch (originally in the room for those moments in the future when I will sit, relaxed and look over the back yard) with my best intention to look at it at a later date.

Some other ends and odds; one TV that could be working if it had been hooked to the cable (too far) one DVD (the TV isn’t working). The plants I pull in every winter and fill up almost third of the room. My old desktop computer (too slow), few boxes of books in Hebrew I already read (definitely have to up my efforts to find someone to take them off my hands). Few unidentified plastic bags in the corner, I give them an inquisitive look, trying to assess the content without opening them, and give up. 

I am all geared up for the task. Sorting out the truly valuable from the piles of trash (chametz) collected over the past year.  I run in my head the three traditional methods of performing this undertaking.

Burning one's chametz – seems a bit drastic

Selling one's chametz – yeah, right

Nullifying one's chametz – Bingo!

 I recite the Aramaic statement that no one truly understands (it always feels like crossing ones fingers behind his back), nullifying all the chametz, letting go while holding on, brilliant.