Uncle Henry’s – animals
This is my favorite section in the booklet ,I like leafing through it trying to imagine how one day I will build myself a small petting zoo, completely for free, just by answering all the ads. In the meantime I satisfy myself savoring them, enjoying the funny ones, slightly tearing over the bitter sweet ones and every once in awhile getting mad at peoples’ stupidity and lack of caring.
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Here are some samples from the past week.
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Ready for what I can feel the tension mounting,
“ I have 16 of them with three different kind of markings. I have Berkshire, Hooded, and I'm pretty sure all white ones. Their markings have already stared showing and soon they will be getting hair. Pets Only! not for food please.”
I hear myself exhaling with relief, not for food.
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“FREE- We have 7 Rhode-Island Red roosters (2 are 3 years old; 5 are about 1 year old); we are planning to get rid of them next week sometime...”
Planning to get rid of them? How?
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“This is a Taz! I rescued him from a bad situation. When he came to me we was flea ridden and 80% of his hair missing on his back. He is allergic to fleas. He has since then made a full recovery! Everything test under the sun was performed at my vets and everything came back with flying colors. Will provide docs from vets.”
So a classic story of a Good Samaritan, but wait…
“ He is a 7 year old Maine Coon,
Good things come to good people, a real Maine Coon, but no, wait!
“ Will be best in a home with a family that has older children: 13+. But perfer single couple or older. He is a great cat, extremely loving,”
Soon to become homeless but he has high demands,
“… and very high maintaince.”
I knew it!!!
“ Pm me if you'd like more info. Adoption Fee Applies.”
Not such a Good Samaritan after all.
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“Central Maine Pigs. Find us on facebook! Our spring and June piglet reservation list is full. We are starting the reservation list for fall piglets. December weaners would be perfect if you participate in farmers markets and would like to sell fresh pork as they should make butcher weight by late April. “
Ah Babe…not every pig story has a happy ending like yours.
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“Category: Free For The Taking
Hi my name is Madison. I'm lab/rottie/chow mixed. I'm looking for a new home cause my owners can't keep me an longer. I'm 10 years old. I love to go for rides, walks, playing with other dogs, kids, and cats. I'm a good watch dog.”
Now, here is where I get teary, the poor dog 10 years old.
And then I get mad,
After 10 years you ditch him? What the matter with you people?
“If you have a room in your heart would you please give my owners a call.”
If I have a room in my heart….
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And last but not least,
“I have a bunch of young Convict Cichlids. We need to rehome them. Would like $1 each and would do a package price for several. Can send pictures and will consider delivering if it's not too far. Call or email for more info. Thanks “
This one really gets me, convicts…needs to rehome.
Sure, I will rehome some convicts if they will be delivered as a package.
This is a new approach for you--or, at least, I don't remember anything like this. Oddly, although it works off silly old Uncle Henry's, it's very personal--not personal history, family personal, life personal, but what you're like as a person personal. I saw some of that in your motel writing, but not that I remember in 262.
ReplyDeleteYou work your effects here very nicely. We understand what you say, you make us agree with you, your funny IS funny, your sad IS sad, your indignation IS indignant, and you own your reader throughout.
What we're left with the most is admiration at how much and how much of interest you can wring from those 'petting zoo' ads.